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Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Olive
Rick
Olives
Italy
Qualified
Garden
President
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Perry

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We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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