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Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Olives
Italy
Qualified
Garden
President
Way
Perry
Olive
Rick

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Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
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All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
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Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
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