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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
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Shaker Heights
Ohio
Last
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Political
Excited
Every
Turned
Republican
Moron
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Candidate
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Republicans
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
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Facebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
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It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
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Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
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Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
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I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
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