Quote

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

Andy Borowitz

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Staying
Hardest
Mom
Stay
Part
Deciding
Home
Romney
Homes
Comedian

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

Image
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy Borowitz
Image
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
Andy Borowitz
Image
It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Facebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people
Andy Borowitz
Image
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Andy Borowitz
Image
NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
Andy Borowitz
Image
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Andy Borowitz
Image
The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
Andy Borowitz
Image
White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine.
Andy Borowitz
Image
A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
Andy Borowitz
Image
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Andy Borowitz
Image
If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy Borowitz
Image
The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy Borowitz
Image
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
Andy Borowitz