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It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
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Shaker Heights
Ohio
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Politics
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Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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