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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Comedian
Corporations
Celebrate
Called
Funny
Anniversary
Satire
Political
July
Government
Usa
People

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
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The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
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Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
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Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
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Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
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John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
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Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
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The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
Andy Borowitz