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All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Passing
Mourning
Americans
Mourn
Funny
Declaration
Passings
Author
Comedian
George
Independence
Jefferson

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A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
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The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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