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The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Political
Comedian
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Liked
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Republican
Baby
Lasts
Last
Jesus
Homeless
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Republicans

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White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine.
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The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
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Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
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Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
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It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
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To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
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John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
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Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
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