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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Ideas
Look
Looks
Contraception
Take
Soap
Electricity
Agree
Harder
Idea

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
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It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
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Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
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Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
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The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
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Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
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Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
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