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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Take
Soap
Electricity
Agree
Harder
Idea
Ideas
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Looks
Contraception

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Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
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Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
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The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
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To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
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Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
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I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
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Facebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
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The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
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