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It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Private
Changed
Technology
Used
People
Painfully
Witty
Boring

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
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The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
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Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.
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A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
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I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
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The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
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To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
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We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
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Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
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Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
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Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
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Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
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