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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Right
Shot
Think
Gun
Thinking
Shots
Weapons
Crazy
Trumped
Maybe
Humorists
Rights
Comedian
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Shooting

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
Andy Borowitz
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Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
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If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Andy Borowitz
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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy Borowitz
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Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
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A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
Andy Borowitz
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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
Andy Borowitz
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
Andy Borowitz
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It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy Borowitz
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To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
Andy Borowitz
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It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
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Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
Andy Borowitz
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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
Andy Borowitz
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Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.
Andy Borowitz
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If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them
Andy Borowitz
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Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
Andy Borowitz
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I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Andy Borowitz