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Facebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Longer
Relationship
Technology
Funny
Able
Interact
People
Option
Status
Actual

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
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Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.
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We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
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John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
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I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
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Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.
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Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
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Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
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If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them
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Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
Andy Borowitz
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
Andy Borowitz