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Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Overboard
Shower
Showers
Christmas
Totally
Baby
Went
More quotes by Andy Borowitz
The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
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NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.
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Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
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Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
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The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
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Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
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Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
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I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
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Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
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A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
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Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
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