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Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
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Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Religious
Holiday
Funny
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Christmas
Believed
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Xmas
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Meaning
Shopping

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz
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Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz
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Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
Andy Borowitz
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
Andy Borowitz
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Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
Andy Borowitz
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Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy Borowitz
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It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy Borowitz
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Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
Andy Borowitz
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy Borowitz
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
Andy Borowitz
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If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
Andy Borowitz
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
Andy Borowitz
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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.
Andy Borowitz
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The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy Borowitz
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Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
Andy Borowitz
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It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
Andy Borowitz
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The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue.
Andy Borowitz
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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Andy Borowitz
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
Andy Borowitz
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I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Andy Borowitz