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Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Shaker Heights
Ohio
Believed
Majors
Xmas
Major
Trivia
Became
Humorists
Meaning
Shopping
Religious
Holiday
Funny
Comedian
Christmas

More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
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Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
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US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Andy Borowitz
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Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
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The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
Andy Borowitz
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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy Borowitz
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All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
Andy Borowitz
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Andy Borowitz
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As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
Andy Borowitz
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Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
Andy Borowitz
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I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.
Andy Borowitz
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Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Andy Borowitz
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We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.
Andy Borowitz
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The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.
Andy Borowitz
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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz
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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
Andy Borowitz
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The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
Andy Borowitz
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Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz