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Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning.

Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 4
Author
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Shaker Heights
Ohio
Majors
Xmas
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Shopping
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More quotes by Andy Borowitz

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The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.
Andy Borowitz
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I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
Andy Borowitz
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Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
Andy Borowitz
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Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy Borowitz
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To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
Andy Borowitz
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The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy Borowitz
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As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Andy Borowitz
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Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy Borowitz
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On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy Borowitz
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Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
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Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.
Andy Borowitz
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If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.
Andy Borowitz
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Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.
Andy Borowitz
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Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
Andy Borowitz
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Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.
Andy Borowitz
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Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'
Andy Borowitz
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Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
Andy Borowitz
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Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.
Andy Borowitz
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A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.
Andy Borowitz
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If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz