Quote

There is a tendency to dehumanize kids that commit crimes. The system is focused on punishment, not on rehabilitation. These kids are the most misunderstood and most cruelly treated.

Andrew Solomon

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Andrew Solomon
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: October 30
Author
Clinical Psychologist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
System
Crimes
Kids
Tendency
Tendencies
Punishment
Commit
Dehumanize
Treated
Cruelly
Focused
Rehabilitation
Crime
Misunderstood

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A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope.
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People who believe that they are going to be excommunicated and shamed, or whatever other dark things may happen to them, are much less likely to enter open, loving relationships. And they are also much less likely to have the self-esteem that is required to be monogamous and loving. And in consequence, they are much less likely to create families.
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I was in fact anxious about whether I would be any good at being a father. And then I met so many people who had been good parents under difficult circumstances, and I felt inspired by them.
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I had known a couple of people who had died, but the loss of my mother contained something of the profoundly unknowable.
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Every organization does good and bad things.
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I don't believe that there is anyone of faith whose faith would not be strengthened by those experiences of family.
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I had always wanted to have children, so it caused me a lot of grief when I was younger, and I had supposed that gay people could not be parents.
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At the end of the day, will God be interested primarily in whether I have been kind and helped others, or in whether I was baptized and how?
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I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.
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Life is enriched by difficulty love is made more acute when it requires exertion.
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If the Mormon Church still supported polygamy, and if it appeared to be a system that was not exploitative of women, I wouldn't feel that it's my place to forbid it.
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There is a line that I always loved from Lucretius. He said, The sublime is the art of exchanging easier for more difficult pleasures. The presumption of that formulation is that the more difficult pleasures are actually better than the easier pleasures. That is why one makes the exchange.
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A lot of people are very political when they are young, and then they outgrow it.
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If your love didn't always contain the possibility of loss, it would be very different from human love as we know it.
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Psychologically, I will not have to seek far if I decide to kill myself, because in my mind and heart I am more ready for this than for the unplanned daily tribulations that mark off the mornings and afternoons.
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I encounter a lot of prejudice and a lot of darkness. I have to negotiate constantly through situations that are uncomfortable or difficult or strange.
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I feel, as a matter nearly of faith, that if you have known a certain amount of suffering and have emerged out of it into the light, you are obliged to share that light with as many of the still-beleaguered as possible.
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My parents deeply and truly loved each other, and if my mother hadn't died they would have been together forever. They were together for as much of forever as was given to them. They really loved my brother and me and were very good to us. It gave the model of how to have a happy marriage and family, but it also set the bar very high.
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Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.
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Being gay is immutable. Maybe someday we'll figure out more of the science and it will be changeable, but we have no leads so far.
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