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I had known a couple of people who had died, but the loss of my mother contained something of the profoundly unknowable.

Andrew Solomon

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Andrew Solomon
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: October 30
Author
Clinical Psychologist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Couple
Known
Mother
Something
Unknowable
People
Contained
Profoundly
Died
Loss

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People … don't want to be cured or changed or eliminated. They want to be whoever it is that they've come to be.
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Identity itself should be not a smug label or a gold medal but a revolution.
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It is nearly impossible to hate anyone whose story you know.
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The idea of anyone contemplating our family and witnessing the affection that we all have for one another and seeing evil in it is deeply hurtful and sad and also deeply bewildering.
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When you banish the dragons you banish the heroes.
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My parents deeply and truly loved each other, and if my mother hadn't died they would have been together forever. They were together for as much of forever as was given to them. They really loved my brother and me and were very good to us. It gave the model of how to have a happy marriage and family, but it also set the bar very high.
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Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.
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The absence of words is the absence of intimacy. There are experiences that are starved for language.
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The thing that makes me really outraged, is the idea that the Mormon Church would presume to get involved in decisions that have little to do with Mormonism.
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I think it's up to the parents to determine whether what they're doing is consigning their child to difficulty. It's not as though they were crippling their children after they were born.
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If you don't want to have gay weddings in Mormon churches, that's fine. That's absolutely up to the members of the faith or the leadership of the faith. I would never suggest that the Mormon Church has to consecrate gay unions. But homosexuality runs at a fairly constant rate through all populations. There are many gay Mormons.
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When I was younger, not being accepted made me enraged, but now, I am not inclined to dismantle my history. If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes-and we become attached to the heroic strain in our personal history.
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I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.
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The tragedies that are being brought about vastly outweigh the benefits that are being achieved.
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The strengthening of faith, I think, is the ultimate goal of organized religion altogether.
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I think a lot of the time people assume that their values are universal. And they don't understand which aspects of their values are actually universal and which aspects are very specific.
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That, in essence, is the catastrophe of suicide for those who survive: not only the loss of someone, but the loss of the chance to persuade that person to act differently, the loss of the chance to connect.
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Every organization does good and bad things.
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Parenthood always involves recognizing your child as separate and different from you.
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Our needs are our greatest asset. It turns out I've learned to give all the things that I need.
Andrew Solomon