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I tend to find the ecstasy hidden in ordinary joys, because I did not expect those joys to be ordinary to me.

Andrew Solomon

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Andrew Solomon
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: October 30
Author
Clinical Psychologist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Joy
Find
Joys
Ecstasy
Hidden
Tend
Expect
Ordinary

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We don't seek the painful experiences that hew our identities, but we seek our identities in the wake of painful experiences.
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That, in essence, is the catastrophe of suicide for those who survive: not only the loss of someone, but the loss of the chance to persuade that person to act differently, the loss of the chance to connect.
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Parenthood always involves recognizing your child as separate and different from you.
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With children who have never said a word, parents tend to assume, for better or for worse, that there isn't any language there.
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In these xenophobic times, when politicians are stoking everyone's anxiety about threats from abroad, I would argue that engaging with the rest of the world is not only a luxury, in the way that travel is, but actually a moral responsibility.
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Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it.
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I encounter a lot of prejudice and a lot of darkness. I have to negotiate constantly through situations that are uncomfortable or difficult or strange.
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When I was younger, not being accepted made me enraged, but now, I am not inclined to dismantle my history. If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes-and we become attached to the heroic strain in our personal history.
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If the Mormon Church still supported polygamy, and if it appeared to be a system that was not exploitative of women, I wouldn't feel that it's my place to forbid it.
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I look at the rates of suicide among gay teens. They are so, so high for suicide attempts and for completed suicides.
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I had always thought of myself as fairly tough and fairly strong and fairly able to cope with anything. And then I had a series of personal losses. My mother died. A relationship that I was in came to end, and a variety of other things went awry.
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I just look at my own life, which is full of error as all life is. I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of.
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I have spent a lot of my life trying to do good and be a humanitarian, to write about difficult places, and to tell the story of oppressed peoples.
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Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.
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I was overpowered by being in the world, by other people and their lives I couldn’t lead, their jobs I couldn’t do - overpowered even by jobs I would never want or need to do.
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Some autistic people may emerge from their condition, but nobody knows when and why.
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I have always believed in trying to be a good person and giving to the world, and treating others in a just, kind, merciful way.
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A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. ... I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don't get it.
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I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.
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Identity itself should be not a smug label or a gold medal but a revolution.
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