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I found it very comforting to see that there is no such thing as a completely normal family. People find their way through whatever the differences may be.

Andrew Solomon

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Andrew Solomon
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: October 30
Author
Clinical Psychologist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Find
Comforting
Thing
Completely
Way
Normal
People
Differences
Whatever
Family
Found
May

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If your love didn't always contain the possibility of loss, it would be very different from human love as we know it.
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If really good people who are deeply committed and who are thriving spiritually have to beat down the nature with which they seem to have been born and cut themselves off from the full realization of love, how can that be pleasing to God?
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It is easy to keep secrets by being honest in an ironic tone of voice.
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Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger.
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I felt like all of the work was training for just one central idea: Accept your child for who he is. I'm not saying that I've done a brilliant job with that. But I've done my best.
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There is neither a cure for nor a way to repair autism. There is no implant like there is for the deaf.
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Labeling a child's mind as diseased-whether with autism, intellectual disabilities, or transgenderism-may reflect the discomfort that mind gives parents more than any discomfort it causes their child. Much gets corrected that might better have been left alone.
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I don't understand what the nature of God is. But I do have the feeling that I'm at some feet, and lucky to be there.
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I hated being depressed, but it was also in depression that I learned my own acreage, the full extent of my soul.
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I have found that the greatest stories of acceptance and love and the ugliest stories of hideous cruelty and abuse have equally been perpetrated in the name of Christian faith.
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Then I repeated these words to my spirits: 'Leave me be give me peace and let me do the work of my life. I will never forget you.' Something about that incantation was particularly appealing to me. 'I will never forget you'-- as though one had to address the pride of the spirits, as though one wanted them to feel good about being exorcised.
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Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.
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I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.
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We don't seek the painful experiences that hew our identities, but we seek our identities in the wake of painful experiences.
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Mild depression is a gradual and sometimes permanent thing that undermines people the way rust weakens iron ... Like physical pain that becomes chronic, it is miserable not so much because it is intolerable in the moment as because it is intolerable to have known it in the moments gone and to look forward only to knowing it in the moments to come.
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With children who have never said a word, parents tend to assume, for better or for worse, that there isn't any language there.
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I understand why there would be prohibitions on straying from monogamy because of the harm that it does not only to the person who is betrayed, but also to the person who is betraying. Betray is a sort of shorthand for what happens.
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A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. ... I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don't get it.
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I just look at my own life, which is full of error as all life is. I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of.
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I believe that organized religion is an ornament to the truth, and that aesthetics are part of its power.
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