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Parenthood always involves recognizing your child as separate and different from you.

Andrew Solomon

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Andrew Solomon
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: October 30
Author
Clinical Psychologist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Children
Different
Always
Parenthood
Recognizing
Involves
Separate
Child

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Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination.
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Sometimes, people end up thankful for what they mourned. You cannot achieve this state by seeking tragedy, but you can keep yourself open more to sorrow's richness than to unmediated despair. Tragedies with happy endings may be sentimental tripe, or they may be the true meaning of love.
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I was in fact anxious about whether I would be any good at being a father. And then I met so many people who had been good parents under difficult circumstances, and I felt inspired by them.
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Fixing is the illness model acceptance is the identity model which way any family goes reflects their assumptions and resources.
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The world changed, and the idea of having a family became feasible for homosexuals. But I was still left with the question as to what it would be like for a child to grow up with gay parents.
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I found it very comforting to see that there is no such thing as a completely normal family. People find their way through whatever the differences may be.
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I spent years thinking I had to make a choice between being true to myself and being with a man and not having a family, and trying to live something of a lie and being with a woman and having children.
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Some people are trapped by the belief that love comes in finite quantities, and that our kind of love exhausts the supply upon which they need to draw. I do not accept competitive models of love, only additive ones.
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Your gender identity is who you are. Sexual identity is who you bounce that off of.
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Being gay is immutable. Maybe someday we'll figure out more of the science and it will be changeable, but we have no leads so far.
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I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.
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Every organization does good and bad things.
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When you banish the dragons you banish the heroes.
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There is a line that I always loved from Lucretius. He said, The sublime is the art of exchanging easier for more difficult pleasures. The presumption of that formulation is that the more difficult pleasures are actually better than the easier pleasures. That is why one makes the exchange.
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Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.
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I think an awful lot of the diplomatic problems that exist in the world come from people assuming that their society is the one with a purchase on truth.
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I felt like all of the work was training for just one central idea: Accept your child for who he is. I'm not saying that I've done a brilliant job with that. But I've done my best.
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Some autistic people may emerge from their condition, but nobody knows when and why.
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We see people of kindness, compassion, and possibly even faith being told, Because of a characteristic with which you were born, you are evil and bad. Anything that even implies such a stance is profoundly toxic.
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Life is enriched by difficulty love is made more acute when it requires exertion.
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