Quote

Some people are trapped by the belief that love comes in finite quantities, and that our kind of love exhausts the supply upon which they need to draw. I do not accept competitive models of love, only additive ones.

Andrew Solomon

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Andrew Solomon
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: October 30
Author
Clinical Psychologist
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Need
Draws
Exhausts
Needs
Models
Quantities
Kind
Accept
Finite
Love
Accepting
Supply
People
Ones
Competitive
Belief
Trapped
Upon
Quantity
Additive
Comes
Draw
Additives

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I have always believed in trying to be a good person and giving to the world, and treating others in a just, kind, merciful way.
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I don't understand what the nature of God is. But I do have the feeling that I'm at some feet, and lucky to be there.
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Loving our own children is an exercise for the imagination.
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I love to communicate, and I love music. That's why I always thought not being able to hear would be a tragedy.
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I encounter a lot of prejudice and a lot of darkness. I have to negotiate constantly through situations that are uncomfortable or difficult or strange.
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Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, Never real and always true, and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true.
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That, in essence, is the catastrophe of suicide for those who survive: not only the loss of someone, but the loss of the chance to persuade that person to act differently, the loss of the chance to connect.
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It is nearly impossible to hate anyone whose story you know.
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Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it.
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I hate the comparative idea that you have to love your spouse more than you love your parents.
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I had always thought of myself as fairly tough and fairly strong and fairly able to cope with anything. And then I had a series of personal losses. My mother died. A relationship that I was in came to end, and a variety of other things went awry.
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Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds.
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I had always wanted to have children, so it caused me a lot of grief when I was younger, and I had supposed that gay people could not be parents.
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It is easy to keep secrets by being honest in an ironic tone of voice.
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Then I repeated these words to my spirits: 'Leave me be give me peace and let me do the work of my life. I will never forget you.' Something about that incantation was particularly appealing to me. 'I will never forget you'-- as though one had to address the pride of the spirits, as though one wanted them to feel good about being exorcised.
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When I was younger, not being accepted made me enraged, but now, I am not inclined to dismantle my history. If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes-and we become attached to the heroic strain in our personal history.
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Labeling a child's mind as diseased-whether with autism, intellectual disabilities, or transgenderism-may reflect the discomfort that mind gives parents more than any discomfort it causes their child. Much gets corrected that might better have been left alone.
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Religion is so focused on family. These days, for many people, being gay is also focused on family.
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You need to take the traumas and make them part of who you've come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things that hurt.
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Science still won't explain the mysterious nature of love and despair.
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