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Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, Know how much money you'll make? And then it would just fail.

Andrew Dice Clay

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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Money
Brilliant
Anything
Fail
Wanted
Worked
Much
Career
Make
Failing
Always
Careers
Talked
Would
Came
Managers
Stuff
Failed

More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay

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Whether you're gay, straight, you can't tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It's unconstitutional and it's morally wrong.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
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My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny. Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic
Andrew Dice Clay
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Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you're playing.
Andrew Dice Clay
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When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Comics, as good as they might be, they didn't know much about performance. There aren't too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting tired. They might have good material, but it's about theater to me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I just like to make people laugh.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I make people laugh hard I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, I'll be dirty and they'll laugh. Nobody's becoming a superstar that wa
Andrew Dice Clay
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I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
Andrew Dice Clay
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If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex.
Andrew Dice Clay
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There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.
Andrew Dice Clay