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I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

Andrew Dice Clay

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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Girl
Shows
Real
Like
Bed
Girls
Show

More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay

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I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh - that's what gets me hyped up. It's a nervous excitement.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay
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I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, “I hate the rich.” From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.
Andrew Dice Clay
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When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
Andrew Dice Clay
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I don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed one just to have a computer put on. But I never, ever even thought of going to it. It's just not what I'm about. I just don't want to waste my life with it. It's just too much I think people are just a little too absorbed in all of that.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I make people laugh hard I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, I'll be dirty and they'll laugh. Nobody's becoming a superstar that wa
Andrew Dice Clay
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My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny. Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic
Andrew Dice Clay
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I have no problem today letting people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that make people the assholes they are. They have no choice but to be part of it.
Andrew Dice Clay
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When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a post man. Now, I understand the meaning of the term postal. I was bored to tears. And what was funny was that the producer actually looked like a bug.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
Andrew Dice Clay
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The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I always believed you could fix whatever problems.
Andrew Dice Clay
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All the subject matter I talk about isn't new all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.
Andrew Dice Clay