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Being onstage and performing, the high of that, and people coming to see you, and getting to make them laugh - that's what gets me hyped up. It's a nervous excitement.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
People
Nervous
Laugh
Laughing
Gets
Coming
Hyped
High
Onstage
Getting
Excitement
Make
Performing
More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay
I always believed you could fix whatever problems.
Andrew Dice Clay
When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.
Andrew Dice Clay
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.
Andrew Dice Clay
Comics, as good as they might be, they didn't know much about performance. There aren't too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting tired. They might have good material, but it's about theater to me.
Andrew Dice Clay
When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a post man. Now, I understand the meaning of the term postal. I was bored to tears. And what was funny was that the producer actually looked like a bug.
Andrew Dice Clay
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
Andrew Dice Clay
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
Andrew Dice Clay
I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.
Andrew Dice Clay
Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.
Andrew Dice Clay
I don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed one just to have a computer put on. But I never, ever even thought of going to it. It's just not what I'm about. I just don't want to waste my life with it. It's just too much I think people are just a little too absorbed in all of that.
Andrew Dice Clay
I never go see a comic. The only one I'd ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water.
Andrew Dice Clay
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
Andrew Dice Clay
I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.
Andrew Dice Clay
I have no problem today letting people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that make people the assholes they are. They have no choice but to be part of it.
Andrew Dice Clay
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by my tits from your ceiling and bite my ass. You know what I mean? That's what it says to me anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
I'm an animal. I'm an animal in real-life and an animal onstage. I never became a recluse, I never lived up in the Hills where I didn't see real life. You know what I mean? I'm not still living in Brooklyn, but I'm still living in the street. I go out by myself, I don't go out with a million body guards, I run my own errands.
Andrew Dice Clay
If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.
Andrew Dice Clay
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay
