Quote

You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There's all kinds of lighting effects, there's all kinds of music. I want them to feel like they're in for a show. I believe in romance.

Andrew Dice Clay

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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Music
Romance
Looks
Kinds
Feel
Effects
Feels
Walk
Kind
Walks
Nightclub
Believe
Show
Nightclubs
Like
Night
Lighting
Shows
Bedroom

More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay

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I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world.
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I make people laugh hard I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, I'll be dirty and they'll laugh. Nobody's becoming a superstar that wa
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Comics, as good as they might be, they didn't know much about performance. There aren't too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting tired. They might have good material, but it's about theater to me.
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Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.
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Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, Know how much money you'll make? And then it would just fail.
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I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
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When I do any stand-up, you're the writer, director, and producer. You're alone.
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I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
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I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
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I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.
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I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.
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I never go see a comic. The only one I'd ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
Andrew Dice Clay
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There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
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When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I have no problem today letting people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that make people the assholes they are. They have no choice but to be part of it.
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I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.
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I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
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By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, What did I do wrong? What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that's what went wrong. And you're paying the price for it.
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Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
Andrew Dice Clay