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If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Going
Aggressive
Mind
Hide
Really
Road
Sex
Marriage
Problems
Girl
Problem
More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay
When I do any stand-up, you're the writer, director, and producer. You're alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
I just like to make people laugh.
Andrew Dice Clay
Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, Know how much money you'll make? And then it would just fail.
Andrew Dice Clay
People have always been animals when it comes to sex. But since the Internet, it's become really out of control, in my opinion.
Andrew Dice Clay
I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
Andrew Dice Clay
I always believed you could fix whatever problems.
Andrew Dice Clay
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
Andrew Dice Clay
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by my tits from your ceiling and bite my ass. You know what I mean? That's what it says to me anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a post man. Now, I understand the meaning of the term postal. I was bored to tears. And what was funny was that the producer actually looked like a bug.
Andrew Dice Clay
I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world.
Andrew Dice Clay
If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
Andrew Dice Clay
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
Andrew Dice Clay
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
Andrew Dice Clay
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.
Andrew Dice Clay
You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
Whether you're gay, straight, you can't tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It's unconstitutional and it's morally wrong.
Andrew Dice Clay
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay