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When I do any stand-up, you're the writer, director, and producer. You're alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Alone
Producer
Producers
Director
Directors
Writer
Stand
More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay
I never go see a comic. The only one I'd ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water.
Andrew Dice Clay
I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.
Andrew Dice Clay
I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.
Andrew Dice Clay
All the subject matter I talk about isn't new all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.
Andrew Dice Clay
I have no problem today letting people know I'm part of what they live. That's why I know about the things that make people the assholes they are. They have no choice but to be part of it.
Andrew Dice Clay
If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex.
Andrew Dice Clay
If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.
Andrew Dice Clay
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
Andrew Dice Clay
Women are now more aggressive than men! And I don't put them down for it. I think it's great. My attitude with sex with any woman I've ever been with is, I want you to be exactly who you want to be behind closed doors. Don't ever hold back with me.
Andrew Dice Clay
I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, What did I do wrong? What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that's what went wrong. And you're paying the price for it.
Andrew Dice Clay
I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.
Andrew Dice Clay
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay
If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
I just love the whole art form of acting, of being in front of a camera and playing different things. Not that I would ever say I'm the greatest actor in the world, but I am capable of playing different kinds of roles that emotionally I could get into.
Andrew Dice Clay
I don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed one just to have a computer put on. But I never, ever even thought of going to it. It's just not what I'm about. I just don't want to waste my life with it. It's just too much I think people are just a little too absorbed in all of that.
Andrew Dice Clay
You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
Andrew Dice Clay
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
Andrew Dice Clay
I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
Andrew Dice Clay