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I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, “I hate the rich.” From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.

Andrew Dice Clay

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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Living
Raises
Lineup
Hate
Car
Beverly
Kids
Fronts
Nannies
School
Front
Witnessed
Used
Lived
Cars
Years
Line
Hills
Always
Lines
Raise
People
Rich
Schools

More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay

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Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.
Andrew Dice Clay
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When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny. Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic
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I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her too special. They shut her off, and having sex before you go to bed is like a sleeping pill. I always say, you're supposed to remember the reason you even asked that girl out.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Anybody can go onstage and be dirty. You have to be funny, that's the key. You can say anything as long as it's funny. You can't take it too seriously up there. And people coming to see you can't take it too seriously.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, Know how much money you'll make? And then it would just fail.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.
Andrew Dice Clay
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There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
Andrew Dice Clay
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I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Whether you're gay, straight, you can't tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It's unconstitutional and it's morally wrong.
Andrew Dice Clay
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All the subject matter I talk about isn't new all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I make people laugh hard I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter is dirty, but the pictures I paint are really funny. A lot of comics don't understand that that's what it's about. It's just, I'll be dirty and they'll laugh. Nobody's becoming a superstar that wa
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Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay
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When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say, As long as I can walk and I'm healthy, there's always tomorrow.
Andrew Dice Clay
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If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
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You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.
Andrew Dice Clay