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I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Thinking
Thinks
Life
Anybody
Trouble
Stage
Getting
Care
Whole
Really
Comic
More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by my tits from your ceiling and bite my ass. You know what I mean? That's what it says to me anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay
People have always been animals when it comes to sex. But since the Internet, it's become really out of control, in my opinion.
Andrew Dice Clay
I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world.
Andrew Dice Clay
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.
Andrew Dice Clay
If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.
Andrew Dice Clay
I'm an animal. I'm an animal in real-life and an animal onstage. I never became a recluse, I never lived up in the Hills where I didn't see real life. You know what I mean? I'm not still living in Brooklyn, but I'm still living in the street. I go out by myself, I don't go out with a million body guards, I run my own errands.
Andrew Dice Clay
When I do any stand-up, you're the writer, director, and producer. You're alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
I just like to make people laugh.
Andrew Dice Clay
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
Andrew Dice Clay
I don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed one just to have a computer put on. But I never, ever even thought of going to it. It's just not what I'm about. I just don't want to waste my life with it. It's just too much I think people are just a little too absorbed in all of that.
Andrew Dice Clay
I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
As long as you can walk the street and you know there's a tomorrow, there's always that chance. That's how I've always been. I've always had complete belief that I would make something out of myself again, because to me, it's always been about accomplishment.
Andrew Dice Clay
When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say, As long as I can walk and I'm healthy, there's always tomorrow.
Andrew Dice Clay
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
Andrew Dice Clay
I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.
Andrew Dice Clay
If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex.
Andrew Dice Clay
The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things.
Andrew Dice Clay
You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life is about. Because when you leave the house, it's all misery anyway.
Andrew Dice Clay
Comics, as good as they might be, they didn't know much about performance. There aren't too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting tired. They might have good material, but it's about theater to me.
Andrew Dice Clay
