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I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Hard
Needs
Really
Make
Possibly
Think
Laugh
Thinking
Laughing
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More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay
Women are now more aggressive than men! And I don't put them down for it. I think it's great. My attitude with sex with any woman I've ever been with is, I want you to be exactly who you want to be behind closed doors. Don't ever hold back with me.
Andrew Dice Clay
I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
Andrew Dice Clay
Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you're playing.
Andrew Dice Clay
My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny. Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic
Andrew Dice Clay
I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her too special. They shut her off, and having sex before you go to bed is like a sleeping pill. I always say, you're supposed to remember the reason you even asked that girl out.
Andrew Dice Clay
I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
Andrew Dice Clay
All the subject matter I talk about isn't new all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.
Andrew Dice Clay
I just like to make people laugh.
Andrew Dice Clay
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
Andrew Dice Clay
I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.
Andrew Dice Clay
People have always been animals when it comes to sex. But since the Internet, it's become really out of control, in my opinion.
Andrew Dice Clay
I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.
Andrew Dice Clay
I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say, As long as I can walk and I'm healthy, there's always tomorrow.
Andrew Dice Clay
You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There's all kinds of lighting effects, there's all kinds of music. I want them to feel like they're in for a show. I believe in romance.
Andrew Dice Clay
I don't get up and look at e-mail. I don't even know my e-mail address. I needed one just to have a computer put on. But I never, ever even thought of going to it. It's just not what I'm about. I just don't want to waste my life with it. It's just too much I think people are just a little too absorbed in all of that.
Andrew Dice Clay
If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.
Andrew Dice Clay
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football.
Andrew Dice Clay
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.
Andrew Dice Clay
If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex.
Andrew Dice Clay