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I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.

Andrew Dice Clay

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Andrew Dice Clay
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: September 29
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Like
Watching
Stop
Makes
Something
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Andrew Dice Clay

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The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of the matter is they've become the aggressors. You know? They're upset if you're not balls deep in them by half way through the first date! They think you don't like them.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.
Andrew Dice Clay
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My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, I don't care how dirty you are up there, just be funny. Because they knew me offstage. They knew I was a good guy. They knew my whole plan of becoming the most exciting comedian, visually, ever. A real rock-and-roll stand-up comic
Andrew Dice Clay
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When you jerk off, you're saying Hey, I care about me.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I've always had my voice as a comic. I was never that into politics, or prop comedy.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her too special. They shut her off, and having sex before you go to bed is like a sleeping pill. I always say, you're supposed to remember the reason you even asked that girl out.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I always believed you could fix whatever problems.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talked into, by brilliant managers, because it always came down to, Know how much money you'll make? And then it would just fail.
Andrew Dice Clay
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There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
Andrew Dice Clay
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I never go see a comic. The only one I'd ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water.
Andrew Dice Clay
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If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.
Andrew Dice Clay
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You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There's all kinds of lighting effects, there's all kinds of music. I want them to feel like they're in for a show. I believe in romance.
Andrew Dice Clay
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Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!
Andrew Dice Clay
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I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, “I hate the rich.” From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don’t raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
Andrew Dice Clay
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I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.
Andrew Dice Clay
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All the subject matter I talk about isn't new all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you look like up there that makes the difference between an okay comic and a great one.
Andrew Dice Clay
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If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.
Andrew Dice Clay