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He understands my pity for his ridiculous, humiliating physical necessity.

Anais Nin

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Anais Nin
Age: 73 †
Born: 1903
Born: February 21
Died: 1977
Died: January 14
Author
Autobiographer
Diarist
Novelist
Screenwriter
Writer
Neuilly
Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell
Anais Nin
Humiliating
Understands
Necessity
Pity
Ridiculous
Physical

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There is an ugliness in being paid for work one does not like.
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There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.
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He has, like me, a sense of smell. I let him inhale me, then I slip away.
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You cannot save people. You can only love them.
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Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
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When you possess light within, you see it externally.
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I miss the animal buoyancy of New York, the animal vitality. I did not mind that it had no meaning and no depth.
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When I cannot bear outer pressures anymore, I begin to put order in my belongings...As if unable to organize and control my life, I seek to exert this on the world of objects.
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My life is not possible to tell. I change every day, change my patterns, my concepts, my interpretations. I am a series of moods and sensations. I play a thousand roles. I weep when I find others play them for me. My real self is unknown. My work is merely an essence of this vast and deep adventure.
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With her eyes alone she could give this response, this absolutely erotic response, as if febrile waves were trembling there, pools of madness... something devouring that could lick a man all over like a flame, annihilate him, with a pleasure never known before.
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The creative personality never remains fixed on the first world it discovers. It never resigns itself to anything.
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Innocence was gone from all our acts. Our habitual state of rebellion became a serious political crime.
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Self-destructive patterns cause as much suffering as outer catastrophes.
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They courted the face on the screen, the face of translucence, the face of wax on which men found it possible to imprint the image of their fantasy.
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Convalescence. Such an utter weakness that you lie like an animal hibernating, playing possum. You float. You are adrift. Every current is stronger than you.
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The fiery moments of passionate experience are the moments of wholeness and totality of the personality.
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The woman will sit eternally in the tall black armchair. I will be the one woman you will never have...excessive living weighs down the imagination: we will not live, we will only write and talk to swell the sails.
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I did not feel drawn to huxley. He was beautiful physically but again without vibrations or sensory antennae... and I had a painful impression of a psychic blindness. With all his science and knowledge, in the mystic world he blundered.
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Our love of each other was like two long shadows kissing without hope of reality.
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