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My mother had a look on her face that I'll never forget. It was one of complete despair and horror, for losing Bing, for being so foolish as to think she could use faith to change fate.

Amy Tan

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Amy Tan
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: February 19
Essayist
Film Writer
Novelist
Screenwriter
Writer
Oakland
California
Amy Ruth Tan
Change
Fate
Look
Losing
Looks
Face
Never
Forget
Bing
Think
Faces
Foolish
Thinking
Faith
Complete
Use
Horror
Mother
Despair

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With hope, a mind is always free.
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You write a book and you hope somebody will go out and pay $24.95 for what you've just said. I think books were my salvation. Books saved me from being miserable.
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You see what power is holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them.
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Why do you think you are missing something you never had?
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It was a distorted form of inverse logic: If hopes never come true, then hope for what you don't want.
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I felt foolish and tired, as if I had been running to escape someone chasing me, only to look behind to discover there was no one there.
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So much of history is mystery. We don't know what is lost forever, what will surface again. All objects exist in a moment of time. And that fragment of time is preserved or lost or found in mysterious ways. Mystery is a wonderful part of life.
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Sometimes you change to survive, and some things you don't give up, or you're too prideful, and then you think well, what's pride? Is it a good thing? Maybe it's a bad thing. That's what I look at in my life. It's always a question in my life I look at, and I never find the answer, because if I did, probably I wouldn't have books to write.
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You can't have intentions without consequences. The question is, who pays for the consequences? Saving fish from drowning. Same thing. Who’s saved? Who’s not?
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I did not lose myself all at once.
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It's both rebellion and conformity that attack you with success.
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Then you must teach my daughter this same lesson. How to lose your innocence but not your hope. How to laugh forever.
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But I don't have anything left inside of me to figure out where I fit in or what I want. If I want anything, it's to know what's possible to want.
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I have loved works of fiction precisely for their illusions, for the author's sleight-of-hand in showing me the magic, what appeared in the right hand but not in the left.
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And now I also see what part of me is Chinese. It is so obvious. It is my family. It is in our blood.
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I can never remember things I didn't understand in the first place.
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Memory feeds imagination.
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I've always been a magnet for guilt.
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...we were like two people standing apart on separate mountain peaks, recklessly leaning forward to throw stones at one another, unaware of the dangerous chasm that separated us.
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For unlike my mother, I did not believe I could be anything I wanted to be. I could only be me.
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