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I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
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People
Side
Call
Anything
Body
Squat
Telephone
Make
Phone
Time
Pull
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More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
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On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris
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I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
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I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
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If you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.
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I'm more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters.
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I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.
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When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.
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Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later he may be with his real girlfriend.
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I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
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We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
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The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
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I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
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You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
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My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
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I like to be the one in charge of everything.
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I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.
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I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
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