Quote

I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
People
Number
Side
Call
Anything
Body
Squat
Make
Telephone
Time
Phone
Like
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More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.
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I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
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Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
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I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
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That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
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I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
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I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
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I'm not a first-place person.
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If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
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When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.
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I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
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I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
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Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.
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Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
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I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
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There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables.
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