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I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
Amy Sedaris
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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
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More quotes by Amy Sedaris
I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
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I need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
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I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.
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I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
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I'm always more attracted to the unattractive.
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I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
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I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
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It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.
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I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home I just choose not to. But because I'm such a homebody, it's important to be surrounded by things I love.
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There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables.
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
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That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
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But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
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I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.
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Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.
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I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
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