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I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
Amy Sedaris
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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Thinking
Worst
Probably
Stole
Least
Candy
Feeling
Shock
Feelings
Bars
Kids
Guilt
Remember
Favorite
Think
Terrible
More quotes by Amy Sedaris
That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
Amy Sedaris
I swear I want to be a food model.
Amy Sedaris
More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady.
Amy Sedaris
There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
I like to entertain in all aspects. When you're with somebody and you're out, you want to be entertained.
Amy Sedaris
Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.
Amy Sedaris
I love old cookbooks. I just got such a kick out of them, how the color would be way off or fake looking. The cook books now look so much like magazines, you'll never make food that looks like that. I'd rather see it the ugly way than they way they do it now.
Amy Sedaris
Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
Amy Sedaris
I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.
Amy Sedaris
I live in the moment.
Amy Sedaris
Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.
Amy Sedaris
The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
Amy Sedaris
I try to pick music for a diner that doesnt involve a lot of lyrics, so you're not paying attention to that. As long as it doesnt dominate the party, it should be more atmosphere music. When I'm by myself, I never play music.
Amy Sedaris
I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
Amy Sedaris
I'm not a first-place person.
Amy Sedaris
I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
Amy Sedaris
I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
Amy Sedaris
But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.
Amy Sedaris
Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy Sedaris
When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.
Amy Sedaris
