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You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Movie
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More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy Sedaris
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My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.
Amy Sedaris
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
Amy Sedaris
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I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.
Amy Sedaris
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I try to pick music for a diner that doesnt involve a lot of lyrics, so you're not paying attention to that. As long as it doesnt dominate the party, it should be more atmosphere music. When I'm by myself, I never play music.
Amy Sedaris
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There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables.
Amy Sedaris
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Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?
Amy Sedaris
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I am an aging Girl Scout.
Amy Sedaris
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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
Amy Sedaris
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
Amy Sedaris
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I always find something to keep me busy.
Amy Sedaris
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
Amy Sedaris
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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris
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I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm very domestic I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy Sedaris
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I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing over and over again.
Amy Sedaris
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I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
Amy Sedaris
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I like it when people who aren't so attractive, or they have a whole lot of hurdles to get over, I like it when they dress up and they look presentable. That, to me, just touches me.
Amy Sedaris
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I've always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.
Amy Sedaris