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I like to be the one in charge of everything.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Charge
Everything
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More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
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They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
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I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.
Amy Sedaris
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Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
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My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there.
Amy Sedaris
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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.
Amy Sedaris
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I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
Amy Sedaris
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I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it because you needed it.
Amy Sedaris
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A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
Amy Sedaris
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Well I went to New Orleans to cover the jazz festival for Trio, it's this new arts channel, it's really great.
Amy Sedaris
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I've always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.
Amy Sedaris
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
Amy Sedaris
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I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
Amy Sedaris
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I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
Amy Sedaris
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That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
Amy Sedaris
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Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.
Amy Sedaris
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The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
Amy Sedaris
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Crafting, or 'making things,' has always been a delightful pastime of mine because it requires putting common elements together in order to achieve a lovely something that nobody needs.
Amy Sedaris
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I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.
Amy Sedaris
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy Sedaris