Quote

When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Really
Littles
Skins
Crooked
Persons
Consider
Kissed
Person
Meet
Veins
Ever
Head
Lazy
Little
Guy
Dramatic
Firsts
Eye
Visible
First
Water
Skin
Something
Beautiful
Teeth

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Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?
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Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.
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Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
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Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
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My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
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I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn't like.
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I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.
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I always find something to keep me busy.
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You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
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I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.
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Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
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As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
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I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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