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Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
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Grab
Story
Listeners
Stories
Sentence
School
Immediately
Like
Sentences
Catholic
Surly
Ears
Nun
Begin
Listener

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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I've never played anyone who didn't like themselves. I don't care if they're unattractive, but it's important that they think of themselves as attractive. And I guess that's part of their charm.
Amy Sedaris
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Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later he may be with his real girlfriend.
Amy Sedaris
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
Amy Sedaris
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They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
Amy Sedaris
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I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.
Amy Sedaris
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I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing over and over again.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm very domestic I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy Sedaris
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I've never done heroin or slept with people for money or anything.
Amy Sedaris
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
Amy Sedaris
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
Amy Sedaris
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I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.
Amy Sedaris
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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris
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It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high.
Amy Sedaris
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My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
Amy Sedaris
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But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.
Amy Sedaris
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My characters always like themselves.
Amy Sedaris
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My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
Amy Sedaris
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As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
Amy Sedaris