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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
Amy Sedaris
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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Cannot
Minute
Give
Message
Cancel
Anything
Messages
Inform
Come
Minutes
Attend
Giving
Child
Explaining
Children
Party
Bullshit
Lasts
Host
Last
Bother
More quotes by Amy Sedaris
If you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
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Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
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Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?
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I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.
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I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
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That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
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I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.
Amy Sedaris
I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
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We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
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I always find something to keep me busy.
Amy Sedaris
I'm not a first-place person.
Amy Sedaris
I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
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I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
Amy Sedaris
I've never played anyone who didn't like themselves. I don't care if they're unattractive, but it's important that they think of themselves as attractive. And I guess that's part of their charm.
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I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home I just choose not to. But because I'm such a homebody, it's important to be surrounded by things I love.
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I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.
Amy Sedaris
People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.
Amy Sedaris
My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there.
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