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I'm not a first-place person.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Persons
Person
Firsts
First
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More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
Amy Sedaris
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More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady.
Amy Sedaris
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Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?
Amy Sedaris
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If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
Amy Sedaris
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Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later he may be with his real girlfriend.
Amy Sedaris
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Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
Amy Sedaris
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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
Amy Sedaris
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I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.
Amy Sedaris
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although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.
Amy Sedaris
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I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
Amy Sedaris
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
Amy Sedaris
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That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
Amy Sedaris
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I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.
Amy Sedaris
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Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.
Amy Sedaris
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I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
Amy Sedaris
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People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm very domestic I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy Sedaris
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I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.
Amy Sedaris
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When I'm by myself, I never play music. I have a lot of it, for a girl, but I don't listen to it a lot. I hate picking music out, I'm not good at it.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.
Amy Sedaris