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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Rather
Persons
Person
Take
Trash
Much
Ugly
Really
Taking
Somebody
Pretty

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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I like people who would rather something be discovered than shoved in your face.
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
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My characters always like themselves.
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I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
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I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
Amy Sedaris
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My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
Amy Sedaris
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I always want to look unattractive, it's more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren't attractive who think they are pretty. That's always interesting to me.
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I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.
Amy Sedaris
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I need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
Amy Sedaris
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
Amy Sedaris
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I've never done heroin or slept with people for money or anything.
Amy Sedaris
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I like to be the one in charge of everything.
Amy Sedaris
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You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.
Amy Sedaris
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When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.
Amy Sedaris
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I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.
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I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
Amy Sedaris