Quote

I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Like
Idea
Restaurants
Ends
Seconds
Someone
Incredibly
Ideas
Hated
Find
Evening
Going
Lots
Waitress
Really
Responsible
Restaurant
Always
Conversation
Depressing

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I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
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I like to be the one in charge of everything.
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If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
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When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.
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I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.
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I'm not a first-place person.
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I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
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I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.
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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
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I like to entertain in all aspects. When you're with somebody and you're out, you want to be entertained.
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If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.
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Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
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You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
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I am an aging Girl Scout.
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I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.
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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
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When I'm by myself, I never play music. I have a lot of it, for a girl, but I don't listen to it a lot. I hate picking music out, I'm not good at it.
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