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My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Business
Hardwood
Littles
Floors
Little
Owns
Really
Paul
Good
Floor
Silly
Brother
Called

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If you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
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The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
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I did shoplift but I didn't get in trouble for it. I shoplifted a lot when I was little. Candy. I would steal candy.
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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I'm not a first-place person.
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
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I try to pick music for a diner that doesnt involve a lot of lyrics, so you're not paying attention to that. As long as it doesnt dominate the party, it should be more atmosphere music. When I'm by myself, I never play music.
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I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
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Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.
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I've never done heroin or slept with people for money or anything.
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If I'm creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.
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My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
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I have no desire to carry a movie.
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All my muscles are in my face. I have a very muscular face. I'm good with faces. I always have been.
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I always want to look unattractive, it's more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren't attractive who think they are pretty. That's always interesting to me.
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
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