Quote

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

Amy Sedaris

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Laughed
Mets
Shoes
Feet
Hard
Really
Men
Cried

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

Image
I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.
Amy Sedaris
Image
Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
Amy Sedaris
Image
All my muscles are in my face. I have a very muscular face. I'm good with faces. I always have been.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
Amy Sedaris
Image
Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
Amy Sedaris
Image
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I always find something to keep me busy.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I'm not a first-place person.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
Amy Sedaris
Image
But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I always want to look unattractive, it's more fun. I like playing opposites, people who aren't attractive who think they are pretty. That's always interesting to me.
Amy Sedaris
Image
I've always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.
Amy Sedaris
Image
Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?
Amy Sedaris
Image
I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
Amy Sedaris