Quote

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Laughed
Mets
Shoes
Feet
Hard
Really
Men
Cried

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
Amy Sedaris
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
Amy Sedaris
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I love old cookbooks. I just got such a kick out of them, how the color would be way off or fake looking. The cook books now look so much like magazines, you'll never make food that looks like that. I'd rather see it the ugly way than they way they do it now.
Amy Sedaris
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A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
Amy Sedaris
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I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm very domestic I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy Sedaris
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
Amy Sedaris
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
Amy Sedaris
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I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.
Amy Sedaris
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I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
Amy Sedaris
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
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I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home I just choose not to. But because I'm such a homebody, it's important to be surrounded by things I love.
Amy Sedaris
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But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
Amy Sedaris
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Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
Amy Sedaris
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I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
Amy Sedaris
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You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
Amy Sedaris
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I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.
Amy Sedaris
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If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
Amy Sedaris
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I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.
Amy Sedaris
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I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
Amy Sedaris