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I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Mets
Shoes
Feet
Hard
Really
Men
Cried
Laughed

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
Amy Sedaris
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We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
Amy Sedaris
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
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I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.
Amy Sedaris
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
Amy Sedaris
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I have no desire to carry a movie.
Amy Sedaris
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People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.
Amy Sedaris
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There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables.
Amy Sedaris
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If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
Amy Sedaris
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I like to be the one in charge of everything.
Amy Sedaris
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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris
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A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.
Amy Sedaris
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I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
Amy Sedaris
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They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
Amy Sedaris
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Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
Amy Sedaris
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It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high.
Amy Sedaris
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
Amy Sedaris
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If I'm creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.
Amy Sedaris
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I need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
Amy Sedaris
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
Amy Sedaris