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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Mind
Unless
Headed
Courses
Pointing
Course
Suicide
Waiting
Burden
Age
Direction
Lives
Wait
Become
Guess
Failings
Take
Failing
Advocating

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
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I'm not a first-place person.
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I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.
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A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.
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My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.
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I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
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Crafting, or 'making things,' has always been a delightful pastime of mine because it requires putting common elements together in order to achieve a lovely something that nobody needs.
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That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
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They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
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Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
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Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
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Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.
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I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home I just choose not to. But because I'm such a homebody, it's important to be surrounded by things I love.
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I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
Amy Sedaris
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I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
Amy Sedaris
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It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
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A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
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I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
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I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
Amy Sedaris