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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Become
Guess
Failings
Take
Failing
Advocating
Mind
Unless
Headed
Courses
Pointing
Course
Suicide
Waiting
Burden
Age
Direction
Lives
Wait

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Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
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I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
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Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
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Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
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I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
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Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
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I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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I'm always more attracted to the unattractive.
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
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I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
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I am an aging Girl Scout.
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You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.
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Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.
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My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
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I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.
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